Marriages are contracted daily all over the world, but a lot do not survive even the first five years. In the western world over 60 percent of marriages fail, the figure is less in developing countries and much less in highly conservative and traditional societies. That the rate of divorce is less in the latter does not confer happiness in those marriages, the same can be said of a lot of marriages held together by religion.
Nevertheless, some couples are able to foster happy and healthy marriages that actually do last a lifetime even in the developed world. How?
Let us examine some of the possible recipe for endearing marriages.
1. Be nice./respect the institution of marriage
Spending time together during holidays or weekends helps in bonding. Be nice to your spouse and respect if not revere your spouse, appreciate your spouse. Most spouses appreciate the three words –I Love You and should be used with all seriousness as often as possible.
Also respect and be nice genuinely to the relations of your spouse; see them as your relations and treat them as such. The same goes for the parent in-laws.
Do not do anything to spite your spouse, doing that shows disrespect for the institution of marriage.
2. Build a strong foundation of friendship.
You have to be friends. Your husband or wife should be someone that you’d want to hang out with. Of course you have to have the sexual aspect but that’s not enough to sustain a relationship. You’re going to go through hard times and you need someone who you want to spend your time with.
Give your spouse enough space to be himself or herself, a mistake often made is trying to take over the life of your spouse, he or she is an individual but must be allowed to attain self actualization.
It’s so easy to the think of yourselves as one person once you get married or start dating. But you always have to remember that you’re both completely separate individuals in that, as close and as similar you
Be the best of friends and be honest with each other.
Don’t forget how important the little things are, like a hug or a compliment. Don’t take each other for granted.
Be honest about what you want and need andlisten to your spouseabout what they want and need.
3. Limit outside influences.
Couples must endeavor to prevent outside interference I their marriage. They can seek counseling together from their sponsors or parents. The danger is in individuals consulting friends secretly for advice; some give advices they themselves will not execute if faced with similar situations. Also the husband must protect the wife from his mother and relations.
4. Always Remember important Dates/ Be Generous.
Lots of love demonstrations in the form of gifts and expressions of affection help to grow the strength of marriage. Remember the birthdays of your spouse and ensure an outing, birthday cards and any other gifts are advisable.
5. Occasional Distancing can sometimes help.
Have alone time. I believe that it helps if you or your partner goes awayfor a couple of hours, a weekend or maybe a week on vacation once in a while. You are both happy to see each other again we he or she comes back.
6. Always Communicate
Communication is key to strengthening marriage; discuss issues that are appear contentious rather than bottling them up. We all make mistakes and are from different backgrounds; consequently by communication, misconceptions are erased, reasons for actions are explained and apologies rendered where necessary.
There are going to be disagreements. There will be times when your partner says or does something that hurts you. The happy relationships will talk about it and work through it. The bad relationships will let it stew until it becomes an even bigger problem. You will have differences in opinion and taste.
Spouses must learn to trust one another, listening to gossips is one of the easiest ways to destroy a marriage. Searching for tell-tale signs is setting the marriage of on the path of destruction.
Do not form the habit answering the phone of your spouse or reading the text messages, many marriages have ended that way, misunderstanding text messages and reading meanings into calls from the opposite sex.
Having said that, do not encourage even official phone calls especially the female spouses after 8 pm from males, husbands do not like it ; ditto for male spouses. The home is for you, your spouse and the children.