Husbands should be aware of the fact that both men and women have identical sexual needs, desires, attractions, tastes and fantasies. It is a mirage to assume that the wife is only at the receptive end, must submissively obey, and carry out the sexual demands of her husband, ignoring the fact that she also needs to exhibit her sexual expression.
God made both man and woman sexual beings with similar sexual chemistry called sexual hormones. The sexual instinct of a man is God made, but ‘He’ wants the preservation of sex to be within the walls of a marriage. However, when endless business trips, long distance marriage relationships, prolonged office hours, marathon fasting and prayer sessions is the order of the day in your marriage, please begin to adjust fast, there is a need for balancing.
Sex and Money are the two most important ingredients in a marriage. When the two are present, a marriage enjoys unqualified bliss, but when any of the two is missing, just one outcome is possible: unending crises.
Reason two: A woman’s heart is her first bedroom for sex: ‘space is provided’ for anyone who gives attention to her heart. Ladies in general have an insatiable appetite for attention, approval, affirmations, and devotion.
The never-ending search for attention and affection makes a married woman find sexual adventure in the arms of other men. Nothing wears down the immune system of the sex bed like a husband being too busy to spend time alone with his wife. Love and sex, to a wife, ‘is spelt,’ A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N and A-F-F-E-C-T-I-O-N. No matter what you do for her, she still requires your time. To deny her attention is to jeopardise your sex bed and create room for another man to step into the bedroom.
Marital love to a married woman is more than a game, it is ‘life.’ A woman would give everything she has to have a marriage that works and a home that is the envy of everyone. A woman is ready to invest all her life to possess her dream home.
No matter how much a husband cares, if he does not communicate in action, the wife still feels unloved. There is a desire within every wife to share her greatest dreams, deepest desires, and innermost thoughts and heartfelt needs with the man she marries.
When a wife says to her husband, “Please talk to me now,” she is pleading for both heartfelt and sexual intimacy. Unfortunately, it is an effort many husbands don’t make. A recent survey showed that 86 per cent of women that seek sexual pleasure outside their marriage did so because the other man gave them attention and affection. To have a healthy sex bed, a husband must make time to give a few minutes’ attention to his wife. Talk, listen and respond in love to her; try as much as possible to be as good, as caring, as supportive and as understanding as possible. Continue the courtesy of courtship in marriage. Do things that will secure her faithfulness at all times.
Let your main objective be to continually study her, learn to know her, growing with her and protect her. Sometimes you both need to sit together and make reappraisals to see how you are doing in the relationship. Genuinely ask her about the things that both of you need to do in order to have a trustworthy sex-bed.
Obviously, during the time of courtship, men, like hunters, hunt relentlessly for their prey and after marriage, they take the same prey for granted. You should not take your woman for granted because the monotony may send her into some ones else’s arms. Keep love and affection growing by expressing love for your wife or it will die and both of you will not only drift apart, the next available confidant would have the best of sex with her. Spend as much time as possible to do things together with her, learn to greet her with enthusiasm. Such acts of courtesy were some of the reasons she chose to spend the rest of her life with you in the first place.
She imagined that if during courtship you could be this nice, understanding, caring, loving, friendly, encouraging and tender, then spending the rest of her life with you would be the best decision she would ever make. Treat your wife, as you would love to be treated. Please don’t overlook little courtesies, especially the encouraging gestures and affection. Brag about her when she is within earshot. Most times, she may pretend not to be listening, but deep inside, she is happy and smiling. If you treat your wife with extra courtesies, she will blossom and service you sexually until you protest. People tend to appreciate when they are the subjects of a worthwhile emotional investment.